Do you have a family member who you think drinks too much? Do you want his drinking to stop? Sometimes family members are part of the problem because they do things that enable the drinker to continue with his ddrinking behavior. Ask yourself these question to see if you are an enabler.
Do you make excuses for the alcoholic’s drinking behavior? (His favorite aunt passed away. He didn’t get a promotion at work.)
Have you taken part of the blame or think that you are part of the cause for the alcoholic’s drinking or behavior? (I shouldn’t have called him names or yelled at him yesterday. If only I were a better housekeeper, he wouldn’t get mad when he comes home from work.)
Have you ever lied to anyone to cover up for the alcoholic? (My husband has the flu so we won’t be able to come to your party. My husband is so stressed out from work that he simply forgot that he said he would help you fix your car.)
Have you ever called in sick for your spouse because he was too drunk or too hung over to go to work?
Have you ever paid bail to get the alcoholic out of jail? Have you ever had to pay his legal fees (e.g. for having to appear in court for drunk driving)?
Are you afraid to talk to your spouse about his drinking problem because you are afraid he will get violent?
Do you say that you will give your alcoholic spouse ‘one more chance’? Do you then end up giving him another, and another, and another chance?
Have you ever threatened to leave if the drinking doesn’t stop?
If you have answered yes to 5 or more, then you are an enabler.